I met this guy on my birthday. He was a cute boy. Bit shorter than I, a fashion designer…and a few years younger. Five years younger to be precise. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything. In fact his mate had paired up with my friend and I think he’d only gone in to kiss me because his friend was ‘busy’ trying to serenade mine. So we were kind of bunged together. However, it was a nice kiss, which I think we were both shocked about because it wasn’t like we had an instant attraction to each other. So he took my number and then ‘the texting began!’.
Now…I think texting is an evil way of getting to know someone because texts.. can be very easily misconstrued. But a date between us was arranged and to be honest everything seemed to be going so well… until I had a bit of a life problem and… I had to cancel. And so that thing called ‘time’ started to come between us.
And the texting continued. And we started to get to know more about each other. And then ‘I think you want more’ hit my inbox. Er… what?! How did he get to that conclusion? It had hit a bit of nerve. I have become increasingly aware of my age these days. And the presumption that I want to get married and have kids right now really does take the fun out of dating. For both of us. But I thought I’d be safe from these presumptions dating a younger guy. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him my real age. Then I got another text… ‘Also…I want to experiment with men as well…’ Oh. Ok. Interesting… ‘I mean I still like girls I just want to see’.
I reflected on that. And I came to the conclusion that firstly – we hadn’t even been on our ‘first date’ yet. I didn’t even know if we were suited let alone negotiate on the matter. Secondly – if he did find out he was more interested in men after his experimenting – and I was the last girl he’d dated. Well. That’s not going to do a lot for my self esteem really is it. I can see the conversation now… ‘Hey Becks thanks for those fun times we had – but yeah after dating you and having the opportunity to simultaneously date men – well I’ve decided I prefer men! Thanks for helping me out on that one!’… ‘Oh really, I’m so happy for you – you’re so welcome. My pleasure.’ Really!?! Not gonna happen is it.
‘So when we meet up – I just wanna have fun and an open no pressure thing’. His text continued. Right. Just fun. No pressure. This guy was putting far too pressure on me. This to me means: it’d be great if you could not let any feelings get in the way, always be happy when I see you, don’t get attached… let me sleep about… which results in – OMG – way too many restrictions and to be honest I can sense when someone’s not that into me. So it was decided.. ‘Let’s just leave it…’. And we did. And apparently he’s very happy with a ballet dancer now (and yes the dancer is a fella).
So maybe texting can be a good thing too.
Here’s some music from King Krule…
For more performances and interviews from King Krule and many more go to www.fredperrysubculture.com
Happy dating Becki Bx